A poem, some reflection

I wrote this poem after I read through a shoe box full of letters and other memorabilia I have saved over the past few years. Things that I deemed important. I wrote this poem right after wards.

"Old letters are wounds
deeper than I would care
to admit.

And right now, I'm trying
to remember all the
things mentioned.

It tingles, but I forgot
it all. The feelings are there
a long with the pictures.

But the facts, are all lost."


I wrote that in the same type of mood I am now. Not happy, not sad. Just, in the process of thinking. I'm thinking about life and every other little thing it just seems overwhelming. Maybe it's becasue it's finals and I'm struggling to get everything done. Maybe it's because I have to go to work in a minute.

I almost didn't make it this year. I don't often admit things like this, but it was a hard year. Hard emotionally, and hard financially. And now that it's all ending, I find myself at some sort of stand still. I miss a good friend and I miss the way things used to be. I can't do anything about it because it feels like a lose-lose situation so I just have to bite my tongue and take what I can get for now.

On the other hand, some wonderful things happened. I feel focused on what I want to do with my career and have found a wonderful girlfriend.

But why do I still feel this way right now? Maybe I'm just tired. Or maybe I just don't like change. I think life moves too fast most of the time for you to ever think about it, but right now, in one of those rare times, I reflect.